I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
