my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just high enough for therapy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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