I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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