margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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