I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
