Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We are all done wearing pants today
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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