I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
