Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
are you so shy because you have an std?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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