Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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