yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
