Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
