guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
