Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
