Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
