dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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