i permit you to call me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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