On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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