Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
