So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
