laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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