I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize