What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
