Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize