He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
