problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
