East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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