It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I supernannyed him into submission
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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