i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
