A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize