all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
