Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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