I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
