Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
a search helicopter?!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
