i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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