u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
