we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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