I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think i have herpe
just one?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
