After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
