i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
