lets start a swedish sibling band together
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
