just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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