The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
