I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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