therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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