so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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