omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
