I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize