how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
