I wish I could punch you in the face.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My vagina is officially offended.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
