I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
