She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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