So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
