I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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