I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
