You just made me feel so damn special
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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