Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
