So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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