that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
