my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
