if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You ruined the universe
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
