I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
