I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize