I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize