So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize