Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
