Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
