"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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