what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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