would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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