At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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