Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
