He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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