It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
