Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
