Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
