No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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