Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
