3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
