Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
