I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
